Richard Simmons must be a good Christian because his prayers for Jessica Simpson have been answered and her seal-to-whale issues might be resolved for good. L.A.’s swanky star-studded FBE Holistic Health & Fitness club took pity on her and offered her a lifetime membership. Mind you the annual membership fee is estimated at about $22,000, so we figured Jess has about 45 years before she’s unable to move and in depends for bladder control issues, so that comes to nearly $1million worth of fees.

One of the club’s key advices to Jessica is to start using the Whole Body Vibration Machine, an equipmentthat Madonna has  ofcourse purchased for her home (and now that she has a new boytoy, they both jump on it to get their rythms and vibrations in sync).

Alas, Jessica has declined the offer because she’s very happy with the way she looks and very much in love (then why the meltdown on stage Jess?).

“Jessica has been spending a lot of time in Texas so her eating habits have changed,” said a source. “And with Tony on hiatus, they’ve been eating out more and just enjoying life together.”